Bag Balm a Go-Go

You know how you can be having a nice lunch with your friends, talking about all kinds of things and then you realize that you are having a conversation about Bag Balm?  I know right?  Well that is where our conversation went today.

I really do not know how we got there because at one minute we were talking about how I deliberately try to arrive late to lunch just so I do not have to pay and the next we are talking about Bag Balm.

The individual responses to the topic were somewhat interesting.  One of my friends gave an enthusiastic, all knowing nod as if he had just purchased a can of it and the other sort of grimaced and said, “What do you use that for?”

For those of you that do not know, Bag Balm is a salve developed in 1899 to protect cow teats. It is used for so much more! Wikipedia has a good write up on it

“Its uses are many, for example “squeaky bed springs, psoriasis, dry facial skin, cracked fingers, burns, zits, diaper rash, saddle sores, sunburn, pruned trees, rifles, shell casings, bed sores and radiation burns.”” – Wikipedia 

As I explained the different uses to my buds, I touched down on the “chapped lips” and shared a remedy for
chapped hands my 6th grade teacher told me about:

When your hands are chapped, take a liberal handful of Bag Balm and rub it all over your hands right before bed.  I mean liberal, dig deep and grab a scoopful!  Now you are in a situation where everything you touch, including yourself, will be contaminated with a
nice layer of Bag Balm so to keep that from happening you take a couple athletic socks, put them on your hands like mittens, and climb into bed.  When you wake up the next morning, your hands will be nice and soft just like cow teats! (Except they will also be greasy).

I went further to describe the antiseptic qualities of Bag Balm and told them a story about my poor old dog and how I helped her:

One day we were in our house and we heard our dog growling and barking. This was not her ordinary growling and barking.  The poor dog sounded mad.  I got up to look.  As I peered out the window, I saw a sight I had never seen before.  There was my dog with her butt firmly planted on the ground, dragging it for all she was worth, across the dirt, gravel and stickers while snarling, growling and barking at it in frustration.  Yes, she was actually barking at her ass!

I wish I would have had been able to get it on video.  It was just an unbelievably funny thing to have witnessed and I do not think writing about it can do it justice.

At the time, I did not know anything about dog’s oil glands.  I only
knew that between licking her butt and dragging it across the desert, she had worn it raw.  I knew what the remedy was, Bag Balm!

I went in the house, got a plastic bag, put it over my hand for protection, and scooped out a fistful of Bag Balm.  I grabbed my dog, flipped her over on her back and spread that glob of Bag Balm all over her nether regions.  Either it fixed the problem or she was smart enough not to bark at her butt again because she knew I would come at her with a handful of gook.  She was a border collie after all and they are smart.

As I wrapped up my story both my friends just stared at me in disbelief. Wait till I tell them about how good of friends my sisters horse and I have become after I took care of him over the weekend.  We had a bit of a fly problem and the horse had them bothering him everywhere…….everywhere. My sister told me to apply some kind of fly repellant and, well, let’s just say my animal husbandry skills have made us the best of buds.  I will save that story for another time…..or not.

Have you had any experiences using Bag Balm?  Do you have any of your own old-fashioned remedies for taking care of some of life’s challenges?  Let’s hear them!




Posted in Odds and Ends | 1 Comment

One Response to Bag Balm a Go-Go

  1. Teresa says:

    I’ve totally done the athletic sock thing — works great. Although, when you started to tell that story I was wondering if you were going to mention it also keeps adolescent boys’ hands off their business.
    I think Axel misses you, you must’ve been very thorough. ;)

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